Bisexuality: Myths and Truths

None of these are true

I've been doing some pretty heavy post here recently so I though that today I could write something quick, easy and fun. This week is Bisexual Pride/Awareness week. Bisexuality is being attracted to both male and females genders. Its no surprise that, thanks to media, there are a ton of myths and misconceptions about bisexuals. I know this kind of thing has written millions of times but I thought it would fun. This is also a little personal for me because not only am I bisexual but some of these myths are ones that I been told. I'm hoping that this will be a fun post that we can all enjoy so lets dive in!

A basic definition

          "Bisexuals are just confused/going through a phase"
 This is very common and is most often said to teenagers who are starting to come out. Part of this is true. Bisexuals can be confused but not in the way that you may think. Coming to terms with your sexuality can be very confusing. Many teens and even adults were raised to believe that there is only one sexuality, straight. Bisexuals may grow up hearing their parents talk about gay rights and saying that anyone who isn't  straight is going to hell.  They may worry about how their friends and family will react if they tell them who they really are. This can lead to confusion, stress and even depression. Being told that your sexuality is a phase can be a huge blow. Its another way of saying "Oh you'll grow out of it." Which isn't true. Please don't mistake this with being bi-curious. Bi-curious does not mean that you are going through a phase. It means that you are curious about your own sexuality and wondering what it would be like being with someone of the same sex even if you already know that you are attracted to members of the opposite sex. Some people question if they are bisexual right up until they get to be with a member of the opposite and of the same sex and some people don't have to, they know for sure. It all depends on the person.  Some may find that after exploring, even though they thought they might be bisexual that they aren't. Does this mean that their period of being bisexual or period of bi-curiosity was a phase? No, of course not. They needed time to explore and grow before they really knew for sure and there is nothing wrong with that.  This leads me to my next myth.

A meme, Just a meme

"Bisexuals tend to sleep around/tend to cheat more/like to party"
This is just flat out isn't true. A lot of this came from porn and media. Bisexuals in movies and TV are presented to be wild, crazy and up for anything. They party, they sleep around, and they don't like monogamy.  Some bisexuals do like to party, but its not because they are bisexual. Its just because its a hobby they enjoy. Just like straight people, some bisexuals do partake in casual sex. Causal sex is fun for some people but not for others. Lots of people, both straight and bisexual, prefer to only have sex with people that they are in a relationship with. Both are fine as long both people are consenting to it. Having casual sex has nothing to with your sexuality. Because of this myth more people believe that bisexuals are more likely to cheat because they won't be happy being with only one partner. People do not cheat because they are bisexual, people cheat because they cheat. If you are with someone who is bisexual and they cheat on you, please don't blame their infidelity on their sexuality. Cheating is a terrible thing to do and being bisexual is not a reason nor an excuse for it.

I hear this one sometimes

"You're with a man/woman now so now you must be gay/straight. You're bisexual so you must be half gay half straight"

Lets start with the first one. A bisexual is bisexual until they say that they feel like they aren't. Its nobody's decision but their own. You hear this a lot more if you marry someone of the opposite sex. If you still feel bisexual, then you are still are. If you feel like you may be straight, then you are. If you start to question things, then question things. No one can tell you what your sexuality is and being with a certain gender doesn't mean that aren't bisexual. That's something that is up to you to discover . Another thing you may have heard is that you are half gay, half straight. I've always found this funny, personally but I understand where some people don't find it funny at all. Being bi isn't always as simple as 50/50. The best example I think of is myself. I've found that even though I am bi, I prefer men over women. I am still attracted to women. I am still attracted to men. Others may prefer women to men. Being bisexual means that you are attracted to both men and women, it says nothing about the percent or ratio being even.

 Simple as

"Bisexuality isn't real"
I will be honest with you guys. I can't understand why or how someone would think this. Thousand, millions of people have come out saying that they are bisexual. How could it not be real? Saying that bisexuality isn't real is like saying grass isn't real. Its all around you, you have proof that it is real, sometimes you can see it. Saying that bisexuality isn't real is  so harmful to people. By saying that you are erasing them. Coming out as bi can be very nerve racking and hearing people tell you that it isn't real just stings. It makes you feel like you aren't valid, that you are invisible.  When someone says this it makes you feel like wallpaper, there, but unnoticed and pushed aside. The other reaction is anger. Normally, that's the reaction that I have to things like this. When people say that bisexuality isn't real I feel like they are calling me liar. It makes me feel as though my feelings, my sexual history, my romances, are bullshit. Which pisses me off. I think out of all the myths on this list, this one is the most harmful. Nothing makes you feel worse than being told that you are a liar, that you aren't real and that you don't matter. Bisexuality IS real. It will always be real and it always has been real

To repeat. You Are Valid

Sadly, this week a lot of bigots are going to be seeping from the woodwork. You will probably hear a lot of these myth. You may hear even worse than this. I want to close with this one thing. You are valid. No matter what people say.  There is nothing wrong with being bi. You are not a sinner, you are not a slut, you are not going to hell. You will find someone who loves you for who you are. It doesn't matter if your family hates your bisexuality, you are perfect the way you are no matter what.